I watched the movie "Wild" a few days ago. It was really awesome. It focuses a lot on a woman's struggles to grow and become a better person. The heroine got drug addiction and indulged herself in reckless sex with strangers to distract herself from the pain of losing her mother. Inevitably, her husband divorced her and her life gradually fell apart.
Cheryl Strayed says these circumstances lead her to the Pacific Crest Trail. She hoped the journey would make her into the woman she knew she could become and turn her back into the girl she had once been.
I was upset for a while because I encountered some setbacks and couldn't stop questioning the road I chose and people's heartless words and criticism could easily hurt my dignity. However, as I watched her hike through those incredibly long trails alone and regained her identity and confidence, I felt that how foolish I was to allow self-pity leading me and torturing myself.
It was doubtlessly lonely to hike alone and very comfortable to deprive herself of necessities of modern life. Most people dread loneliness and will do everything to divert themselves from being alone. The heroine said that she thought of quitting the journey every minute and wondered why she put herself in such a misery. Being forced to face oneself for a long time is indeed very dreadful. Nevertheless, it is only through this process we can get to know ourselves better and have better understanding about the decisions we made earlier in life.
Here is one of my favorite quotes from this movie "What if I forgave myself? I thought. What if I forgave myself even though I'd done something I shouldn't have? What if I was a liar and a cheat and there was no excuse for what I'd done other than because it was what I wanted and needed to do? What if I was sorry, but if I could go back in time I wouldn't do anything differently than I had done? What if I'd actually wanted to fuck every one of those men? What if heroin taught me something? What if yes was the right answer instead of no? What if what made me do all those things everyone thought I shouldn't have done was what also had got me here? What if I was never redeemed? What if I already was?”
In the end of movie, I really felt inspired. Nobody can claim that they has never made any mistake in life, but being regretful for the things we've done and self-hatred won't be helpful at all.
"Keep going. Everything you need will come to you at the perfect time."